Beating the Housewife Blues - How to Survive Your First Year as a Stay-at-Home Mom

You are a stay-at-home mom. What do you do ALLLLLLL DAY?

Though I was not offended by my ex-manager's question, I have been answering similar questions from other career women. 

Another friend, who just became a new mom and wanted to quit her job too, expressed similar curiosity. She was especially concerned about feeling like a lonely housewife.

Their curiosity is understandable -- for someone who always worked outside of the house, the lifestyle of stay-at-home moms must seem so foreign. To these women, as well as anyone contemplating on becoming a stay-at-home mom, I say, "you needn't worry at all."

Yes. A new baby changes your life drastically. Going from career girl to full-time mom takes adjustment, and the first year is especially difficult. But you'll get the hang of things in no time.

Here's how.

A not-so-appealing stereotypical depiction of housewives.

Create a daily schedule

Think a schedule is too stringent? Think again.

Even for the most free spirited mom, schedules make a convenient tool for planning your daily life. 

Everyday, figure out when your baby's nap and feeding times are, and stick with them as much as you can. Once a schedule is in place, you can then plan other activities within the gaps.

One thing to take note on is that babies' nap times change. So re-adjust if you must.

The aquarium is one of the many places you can take your baby to.

Get outside of the house every day

Speaking of activities, schedule one for everyday of the week. Make sure it's outside of your home. 

Hit the play ground, go to story time, or meet up with friends. You can do whatever you like, as long as you are not sulking at home.

Remember -- you are only as lonely as you allow yourself to be.

Here are some ideas:

Local libraries

Bookstores
Kid-friendly coffee houses
Shopping malls

Community centers

Parks and playgrounds 

meetup.com

You can always enjoy a walk on sunny days. I like to stroll along the waterfront of downtown Seattle.

Pick a regular activity to meet other parents

Once you have attended various activities, pick your favorite one(s), and consistently go to those each week. 

People become friendly only if they feel comfortable with you. So create a certain comfort level with other parents by making yourself available and familiar.

Once you've connected with other parents, extend casual chit chats into a lunch or coffee break. 

Eventually, you will become friends with these parents, and even get invited on play dates and birthday parties.

A few moms and I often go eat at the local Asian grocer for lunch.

Lately, we have been into bubble tea.

Don't set your expectations too high

Of course, friendships take time. Don't expect every parent to become a new buddy. Just because you both have a baby doesn't mean you have a lot in common. 

Be open. Be friendly. But also be understanding if you don't connect immediately. Great relationships are neither forced nor quick.

Take time for yourself and your husband

An easy way to adjust to a new life is to keep a part of your old life in tact.

Prior to baby, did you go on date nights with the Mister? Did you have girls' nights? Continue doing them once in a while. Taking a breather from 24/7 mom duty gives you both a physical and emotional break.

Local parks are always good places to go and meet people at.

Find a passion. Develop a hobby.

You don't need a paycheck to feel accomplished. Now is an opportune time to explore your passions and hobbies. 


Obviously, I took up blogging. But what about you? Do you like to knit? Sew? Bake dog treats? 

The possibilities are endless. And when you become really good, like my friend Susan with her photography (Susan Ulep Photography), you might even turn your hobby into a lucrative business -- how's that for accomplishment?

Are you a stay-at-home mom too?

If so, any suggestions?